Ow

I cannot tell of pain
Nor explain the sense of loss
This agonizing breathlessness brings me closer to the cross
To walk alone has been given me
A solemn weighty task
Yet joyfully will I traverse this narrow holy path
A cloud of witnesses, aye, 'tis true
Yet unjoined do I now run
Only to the Lord Most High - He is the only One
So depth and texture, character and love
Will come from present wounds
But under no delusion am I that such things come easily or soon
While slash of knife has since passed
Only now does blood come forth
Tears of anguish cascade down as I'm told of my lesser worth
Alone! Alone! Are you! Are you!
The voice hacks at my shield
Unable to speak and hear I two voices
To which words do I yield?
Words of hope, salvation, love
And do I dare believe?
Now hov'ring over my bowed head, the enemy does seethe
Waging on, the battle
Continue till end of time
My prayer a life of worship
For now a height to climb




My prayer right now is just that the Lord would lead me through this hurt, this sadness. He is.

Spill

"He who is alone with his sins is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, notwithstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness. The final breakthrough to fellowship does
not occur because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everyone must conceal his sin from himself and from their fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners." -Deitrich Bonhoeffer
To deny our sins is to deny His grace, to deny our absolute need for Him. To condemn anyone's sin is to condemn Christ Himself. He became sin for us. Every broken heart, broken home, tear stained face, hidden shame, every ounce of guilt or fear or hurt or death that ever will be or has been or is being caused by sin, Christ became. Holiness is nudity. My sins are many man. I'm very saved. I'm sick of being afraid that people will find out I'm a sinner. Yup. Yup I am, and chief among them if I do say so myself, not that I'm proud of it, maybe I'm just learning what Paul knew about boasting in my infirmities, I don't know. The point is that the Lord desires a holy nudity between His people. A Holy nudity which lets the members of the body know their place. How can one display a gift of encouragement if no one needs encouraging? How can one exhibit mercy if every one is worthy? A Holy nudity which strives to achieve unity, unity in love and unity in infirmity. Even the world agrees that group therapy is the best way to get treatment because just knowing that you're not alone helps a person get better. How can those who have seen the loving mercy of God and experienced His forgiveness be less open and humble than AA members? So its spill time, I dopn't know exactly how or where a confessional of sorts should take place whether here or elsewhere, I don't know, but I'm sick of being alone. So there. Just thoughts.